Why's Facebook and WhatsApp Better Parents?

Alpha Points:

Okay! Not too many parents are on social media (with the exception of my dad of course). So my guess is that you'll be the one to tell them, or if possible, show them what I've written. 

Today is the memorial of Saints Joachim and Anne, parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary. We don't know much about them, but we know that their daughter became the most Blessed of Women. I'm not about to talk about the Blessed Virgin Mary, or her parents for that matter. I'm only seizing this opportunity to talk about parenting. Yea! You heard right. We're safe to assume that Mary came out just fine because her parents were good at what they did; Parenting!

Get Your Back Into It

This is hardly the time to struggle with definitions and meanings of terms and concepts. I won't bother one bit. It'll suffice to say that if you have a smaller version of you alive and kicking, you're a parent. Again, if you happen to be in charge of a much younger person, you're a parent as well. So in so far as someone somewhere looks up to you, you're a parent in a way. Know this: it's a full time job, so you had better get your back into it.

Start Listening, Like Yesterday!
A parent would need to listen. Children communicate in many ways. Teenagers and young adults are perhaps the most confused of human beings. Special attention must be given to these categories. Pay attention to your children. I'm not saying you should set up CCTV cameras in their bedrooms, and monitor their every move (including when they go to the toilet). You need to stop playing the "bad guy" parent. Your children will just become smarter criminals in the long run. Don't think you can outsmart them by employing the neighbours to spy on them either. They'll probably connive with those same neighbours and edit the information before it ever gets to you. And please, don't shout on your kids. They're not microphones. Treating them as you would an earpiece pays more.

Tune Into Their Frequency

Don't you wonder how a receiver is able to convert static (meaningless electromagnetic noise) into clear audio and visual elements just because it is on the right frequency? Want your kids to tell you everything? Tune into their frequency. Stop acting like you're perfect. Chances are that you've probably made more mistakes than they can ever make in two lifetimes. So why act all sanctimonious each time they try to tell you a secret? Your baby daughter was raped when she was eight by your brother. Ahhh! How can she ever tell you that? Will you let yourself believe your brother is a rapist? Oh, what about that wonderful sister of yours that's molested everyone of your daughters? Bet you weren't told that. You don't even know your sister is a lesbian. Your first son has been sleeping with his own sister. You don't know about that either. You presume your kids are safe because you always lock them up inside the house, right? You'd be surprised. We can go on and on...

Take Your Nonsense Out Of Their Space 
If your life's already messed up, try not to contaminate your kids with it. You'll be doing yourself a great favour if they manage to turn out better than you are. Last time I checked, this was the dream of every good parent. What father or mother rains different shades of curses on his/her own children day and night? How can you call your child a bastard and expect him/her to behave like one with parents? It's absurd. Don't call your kid a failure, or a goat, or a fool, for fear that one day he/she will start listening. And you'll be the first recipient of his/her foolery. If you can't stop drinking or smoking, then make sure you do it where and when your kids can't see you. And please, don't bring prostitutes into your house. Jesus! If you want to beat their mom, try to take her to a hotel before you do so (though I'm wondering what kind of man beats his wife).

Omega Points
I have to stop now. It pains me that these kids can't speak with their parents; those who should be closest to them. Your girl is in love (at least she thinks she is). Why can't she tell you about it? Why can't your son tell you about the first girl that blew him off his feet? Who'll teach your boy how to act like a gentleman, and treat a woman right? Who'll teach your baby girl how to keep her dignity, knowing that sex isn't love and vice-versa? Look what Facebook and WhatsApp has done to them, because you've failed in your responsibility. Too bad! Are you a parent? Please take your job seriously already! From where I sit, Facebook and WhatsApp still has the lead.

No one goes to a parenting school. The only one you'll ever attend is the one you were enrolled in when you were born. O boy! Yes oh! So you're supposed to be learning from your parents how to be a parent yourself, even when they were busy parenting you (phew! Sounds crazy?). And you're totally in soup if you didn't get good parenting, because chances are that you won't make a good parent yourself. I won't be too discouraged if I were you. There's always room for exceptions (winks).

But here's the thing! No matter how scandalised you are about your kids' behaviour, try not to show it when he/she opens up to you. My best guess is that it took him/her some deep rooted guts to share. If you begin screaming like a she-goat in heat, you'll lose your child forever. They'll never share anything with you *ever* again (not even when they hear about the conspiracy of your death). 

So ease up already. Finally, stop flogging your kids with belts, canes, cowhides, planks, etc. They really hate it. They're not some stubborn horse, or donkey. They are human beings, with tender skins; skins that hurt and bleed.

God bless you!

(c) Oselumhense Anetor, 2016