Random & Scattered

I have those moments in my quiet and busy times when my thoughts just drift into so many different unrelated dimensions and it’s hard to correlate them, find a bearing or understand the reasons behind the confused thoughts (can anyone relate?)

I simply call them Random & Scattered. So I’ve put together some of these thoughts and there might be a person or two who can make sense out of some of them and I’m guessing there might be some that just don’t make no sense. Lol. Anyway, if you can relate to anyone, kindly drop a comment or share your understanding of it. 

The Victim

You know that person in your life that always plays the victim in any role they portray? Yeah, we all have one or few of those peeps around. But this is what I don’t get, “why do they always feel singled out?” I mean, you put yourself in a position were you wouldn’t naturally want to be in because of fear and the desire to be perceived as cool (societal demand) and then when things don’t turn out in your favour, the sermon you preach, to any congregation willing to listen, is one of being a victim. Stop living a lie and admit to your own short comings instead of blaming it on others when you are the perpetrator of that downfall.

The Friend

How can you call anyone your friend when you harbor ill-feelings towards them? What then is the basis of your friendship? In your twisted little world, everything has to revolve around you; everything has to be about you. You don’t care if the person next to you gets hurt by your actions but you expect everyone around you to be mind-readers and know that certain lines shouldn’t be crossed. They either kiss your behind or be considered the enemy.

The Two Faced One

You are intentionally confused. So you go on and on about a particular situation, dishing out avenues for events to unfold, playing the judge and jury, the prisoner and police, the law and the criminal, constantly encouraging one party (in a party of two or more) to proceed while discouraging the other(s) from participating in the dance off. Somehow they all see through your hypocrisy, give you a run for your money, get into this dance off you want them to and not want them to participate in it and the reward for victory erupts like a volcano in your face 

Question: What In The World Were You Thinking Of When This Played Out In My Head?

Answer: Honestly, i have no idea.

I'm Better Than The Best

Some may call it stubbornness, others might call it pride, and others might even see it as being a prima donna. I see it as you being who you are. Consciously or unconsciously you like to be in control. You feel at easy when things go your way. You like to be dominant one all the time. It pisses you off when someone calls you out on your attitude because in your head they are judging you wrongly. I see you want to be better and I also see you not wanting to put in the effort to achieve that. You get this adrenaline rush from being worshiped.

Trouble

Still can’t fathom how anyone would go out of their way to create a problem they can't handle when it blows up in their face. Why ruin a friendship out of fear and insecurity? Why test people instead of appreciate them? Why segregate certain people under one emblem when you know everyone is different, regardless of certain similarities? Get a grip on yourself.

The Pain

Maybe you’ve trusted things too much and when it doesn’t work out, you don’t know how to handle it. Maybe your confidence in your own abilities is gone; maybe that confidence weren’t there from inception. You’ve forgotten how to be happy. Maybe you miss your family. Give it time. Everything will get better and don't forget to pray.

This is my reality. My truth syrup. My mind's eye!!!!

By O-Mat*